TGWTG User Blogs

Ok so this is my first blog post. Please do criticize me so I can learn to be better at this. Ok first movie!

1. Dark harvest

 Now then, don't you see how the box art is awesome looking? Well the box art is where the $10,000 dollar budget went. The whole movie is crap. It's about a man named Sean (Don digiulio) inherits a farm from his father. Sean was adopted at birth so he knows nothing about his family's culture. Him and a few friends decide to stay their for like a week. First problem. DIRECT TO VIDEO RELASE! Most movies that are not kid movies that are released straight to DVD are pure crap. Second problem. 2 WEEK FILMING! What the F*ck?! 2 weeks?! They really wanted to crap this one out to make a quick 15 bucks. luckily I rented it at my local block buster for like $3. Just don't see it. The main villain is a scarecrow that can come to life. As the box art and the back of the box says! And guess what?! 2 sequels were made!!! WHAT THE F*CK?!

2. Catwoman

Okay what's the first thing that comes to mind when catwoman is mentioned? You think about the infamous batman villain. So since everyone loved her, people obviously had to make a movie out of it right? Well first off, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CATWOMAN!!!!!!! It's about a woman who's name is Patience philips... wait stop. Isn't catwoman's name Selena Kyle?! Moving on this person works for a cosmetics factory. While delivering some cosmetics to her boss, she hears that the make up makes people look young and pretty. But if it's not used for a long time it will make your skin all dry and look old. But oh no! She is spotted! So she runs away and she drowns. And the cat she saw towards the beginning of the movie resurrects her... What.... The... F*CK?! A CAT RESURRECTS HER?! Ahem. Moving on, when she wakes up, she turns into catwoman.... Ok then... This is where the movie goes down hill. If you have to, rent it. But don't blame me if you hate it and spent like 7 bucks to rent it.

3. Stop! or my mom will shoot

Just look at the photo. Take a nice long look. What do you see? A old woman holding a gun pointing it at... not confirmed.  But who else do you see? Yup, your eyes do not deceive you that is Sylvester stallone. You know, rocky? Or maybe you know him as john rambo. Well in this peice of crap, it's about a cop who's mother comes to live with him. No problem. Yet.... Moving on, She buys him a illegal gun.... Wait wait wait.... What type of mother buys her son an illegal gun?! I mean what the hell?! Ahem. Moving on, she also starts poking around his police brief case. And whenever one of her children are threatened, she becomes something like wonder woman. Well then.

 This is the end of the Beginning of  a crap load of bad movies. As I said before, please criticize me so I can learn how to be better. Bye bye for now.