Candy Musings
Candy Musings
Posted by: Mr. Vorhias, The Music Snob in Rant, Random List, Random, Candy Bar, Candy on
Nov 08, 2008
- If you think about it Dark Chocolate and Swiss Chocolate are really the classiest chocolates there are. Milk Chocolate comes second, with Semi-Sweet chocolate following.
White Chocolate is the kind of chocolate living on welfare who has his car up on cinderblocks.
- The only thing keeping a package of Buncha Crunch from becoming a full-time Crunch bar is a lack of focus.
- The cookie part is really what makes or breaks a Twix bar. Take that away and you just have chocolate and caramel.
A Caramello, therfore, is a Twix bar that gave up somewhere along the way.
- Gummi Bears and Gummi Worms both taste exactly the same, and yet somehow it's important enough to deferentiate between species.
- The next space expedition is expected to insulate the shuttle with Charleston Chew.
- For all intents and purposes the Heath Bar and the Skor Bar are more or less exactly the same...but the Heath Bar is the only one of the two that has cracked the ever-important ice cream filling market.
- Noone ever eats Bit-O-Honeys. If you've ever met someone who likes Bit-O-Honeys then you are talking to someone who is merely a figment of your imagination.
- No candy company in the history of mankind has been able to get the concept of "Cookies And Creme" right.
- True story: I once knew a guy who liked to snort Fun Dip.
I think I saw him last in a gas station, manually siphoning gas via the combination of a hose and his mouth.
- I've done the math. It takes exactly 413 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.
- If ever I see a 3 Musketeers bar, sometimes I wonder...whatever happened to d'Artagnan's candy bar?
Literarature fans will like that one.
- The Take 5 bar is probably one of the greatest achievements in the history of Candy-Making to date. Why on Earth did it take so long for people to put pretzels into candy bars?
- Getting back to the next space mission, the ship will probably be kept together by semi-chewed wads of Good N' Plentys.
- The people who decide what flavors get to be Jellybeans must have lost their minds ages ago.
BACON-flavored Jelly Beans?!
Trust me when I say it's nowhere NEAR as interesting as it sounds.
- A nice marketing idea for the makers of Rolo: Add an extra R to the end of the candy, and pass the whole thing off as the very first Palindrome Candy.
- I don't think Reese's likes having good ideas. How else could you explain why the Fast Break, and White Chocolate Reeses are still on the market but you can't find Crunchy Reeses or Reeses Crunchy Cookie Cups anywhere?
- I'm not sure how much I go into the whole trend of adding creme to fruit candies. It sounds innocent enough at times with the more typical fruit flavors being represented, (Strawberry, Cherry, etc.) but some of the flavors have become more and more haphazard. (Pineapple, Passion Fruit, Pomegranate. I have seen these all.)
Personally I'm looking forward to Guavas and Creme. Or Prickly Pears and Creme.
- In the history of candies, nothing Grape-FLAVORED has ever been good.
I'm sure people will back me up on this.
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written by SimonW , November 08, 2008
But yeah, I prefer the Red or Pink flavoured lollies (aside from the Chilli flavoured Skittles which are horrible).
I actually say my favourite colour is Red...Red as in lolly colour (Blue for normal colour in case anybody was wondering).
That is all I have to say so...yeah. Interesting Blog, though.
SimonW.
written by Mr. Vorhias , November 09, 2008
But then I'll eat anything that tastes even vaguely like lemon.
written by Mr Insert Random Color Here , November 09, 2008
Ah, Take 5, the Arc d'Triomphe of candy bars...although I honestly wished they had put chocolate-covered pretzels in it instead of regular pretzels.
Actually, Skor tastes a bit more robust than Heath; why Skor isn't on ice cream confuses me.
As for the d'Artagnan bar...well, they kept trying, but they were making it near a Roquefort cheese factory and the candy bars kept attacking it out of vengeance. XD
written by Maverick21 , November 09, 2008
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Have you ever notice that when you get starburst everyone wants the red and pink ones, but not the orange and yellow. If you find someone who enjoys eating the yellow and orange, they are clearly eating it for the sugar. Also it would be an ingenious idea to have just red and pink starburst packages, think of the money they would make off of that.