TGWTG User Blogs

Welcome to Awful Video Games Volume 2. Today we take a look at a really bad game set in a galaxy far, far away.

Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi (Playstation)

My vote for the granddaddy of all shitty ass Star Wars games, you would be hard pressed to find a worse fighting game in the galaxy than this abomination. Its a Playstation one fighting game set in between episode IV and V of the Star Wars saga, only everything is fucking shitty. From graphics to controls, you name it and it sucks ass. Everyone was excited about this game, with it getting cover stories and hype up the ass. Was this well warranted? Unfortunately, no. This is an obvious quick cash in, where rather than spend time on the game and develop something worthy of the Star Wars license, they just slap something together at the last minute and know that all the loyal fans will pick up a copy opening day for 50 bucks. To quote the nerd "They made a quick buck off this shitload of fuck". Truer words have never been spoken. 

The characters you get to choose from are varied and include a few that just shouldn't exist. The characters available from the beginning include all the mainstream characters you would expect such as Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca and even Boba Fett. They all make sense, although I doubt Princess Leia could take out Boba Fett. But that's the least of this game's problems. Then you have a few assholes that I have never heard of and are just stupid as hell. First you got Arden Lyn, some bitch who fits into this game's back story that I couldn't care less about. Then, you get into the really weird shit. The final two characters are a Tuskin Raider and a Gamorrean Guard who are named Thok and Hoar respectively.

No, I'm not kidding. Thok and Hoar. Two characters never seen before and never to be heard of again, making their first and last appearance in this game. What is odd is they decided to give them names. Why not "Tuskin Raider" and "Gamorrean Guard"? Maybe to try to give this game some sort of validity in the expanded universe of Star Wars. Still, I wonder why they chose such odd names. Well, using common sense I can guess "thok" is a noise you make when you hit something, like in a comic book. But "hoar", sounds like whore, so maybe the Tuskin Raider had been sleeping around. Yeah, maybe it's fits into her back story. It doesn't say in the instruction booklet. Fuck it. I've put far too much thought into this.

But really, that’s because that is all I have to say about this piece of shit. I could never play it for long without wanting to kill myself for buying it. The graphics are painful to look at, particularly the character models. Which is a problem when its a fucking fighting game. The controls are extremely broken, with the characters movements mechanical and stiff as I have ever seen in a fighting game. Had I played the game longer, I can only assume that I would have found the character balance to be non existent, with the miniscule amount of effort put into other sections of the game. Everything screams of laziness. This game should have been awesome. Instead its one of the worst shit colored stains on the Star Wars saga.

In conclusion, this is far worse than the prequel trilogy. I mean, at least we got some cool stuff out of the prequels. Darth Maul, Mace Windu, General Grevious. But what do we get here? Thok, Hoar and some bitch who fits into the story of a game with a title I can barely pronounce! Fuck this game. There were many bad Star Wars games that were made for nothing more than a quick check, but this is just unbelievably atrocious. The developers obviously did not try AT ALL and just rode the Star Wars license all the way to the bank. Fuckers.

Thanks for reading and comment if you wish. Until next time.