(Thanks in part to Andy Duke for helping out).
So, we're going to talk about Lex Luger. And I'm sure people are thinking, "But didn't Luger have a GREAT career?" And I'm sure others who get this joke would say "I DON'T KNOOOOOOW!" But...that's besides the point. No, today we're going to discuss a certain point in Luger's career, the time he spent in WWF. And today, we're going to try something new, bring someone in to discuss this odd failure. With me today is an amigo, Andy Duke. Say hello, Andy.
Hello.
So, to begin with, let's remind everyone. Lex Luger did NOT start off in WWF. Believe it or not, he was a WCW champion prior to jumping the bridge. In fact, I don't think it was long after that reign ended that he signed onto another company.
Indeed. Came up through the NWA Florida territory in the mid-1980's
Yeah, then WCW, then WBF-...wait...is that a typo, or...am I seeing this right? That should be WWF...
Nope. He was in the WBF in 1992, but didn't start wrestling in McMahonland until 93. He was hoping to completley retire from wrestling all-together. Unfortunately for him, the WBF did not last long.
Well, how about that. For those that don't know, the World Bobybuilding Federation was an attempt to create a...well...just lookit the name. Oddly enough, this failed. Not like, yanno, a bodybuilding competition is good money. But, after that, he was stuck wrestling for the WWF now, and boy, did he have a gimmick he could relate to. Wanna tell them, Duke?
Well, after the WBF went nowhere fast, and since Lex didn't exactly want to go back to WCW, it became pretty clear that he had to make his WWF debut, and he did so with quite a memorable gimmick. Prior to his debut, manager and announcer Bobby Heenan had been hyping up a man only known as Narcissus. Eventually, Luger(who was now called the Narcissist), made his debut in WWF. The gimmick was basically that Luger thought of himself as a god, and he would spend all his spare time gazing longingly at himself in the mirror. They even would bring out a full-length mirror to the ring for his entrance.
And given the look of this guy, I wouldn't be surprised if the creative just poked their head into the locker room after seven hours of waiting and realized a Luger match wasn't going on and found him staring at himself. But I digress.
The only real important feud for the Narc was against Mr. Perfect, since Heenan kept claiming Luger was 'beyond perfect'. Sweet setup for a feud, I guess. And this would last until Wrestlemania 9, where Luger had a bunch of bikini girls hold mirrors up so he could see himself from all directions. What a waste of bikini girls.
Yeah, but to be fair, Wrestlemania 9 was the pinnacle of wasted potential; for a lot of things.
Yeah, good point. The beginning of face Doink the Clown, Giant Gonzalez, Yokozuna's thirty seconds of fame...yeah, uber-waste dump there.
But we could spend all day talking about Wrestlemania 9.
Yeah, we'll get to that one another time; back to Lex. So after this, Luger was still going through the Narc gimmick, and lost a match in the King of the Ring tournament. Not much else to report on this gimmick. So, in a way, the Narc gimmick failed. But WWF figured they could repackage Lex as a babyface, and give him the WWF title against the largest heel at the time...quite literally...Yokozuna. So, how would Lex get over the Asian/Samoan? By being a citizen of the USA!
I dunno about you, Duke, but quite honestly...it seems bad that at this time, every bad guy in the WWF seemed to be from another country. And in wrestling, it's kind of a cheap way to get someone over by simply labeling them a US citizen and making it their gimmick. Sure didn't work for the Patriot.
It's a story arc as old as wrestling itself. Unfortunately, since it is such a time-tested arc, every long-term fan has seen it literally hundreds of times.
Amen. But what I think is more ridiculous is that Lex Luger bodyslammed Yokozuna while they were on an aircraft carrier. The aircraft carrier I believe, but Luger lifting Yokozuna?! I mean...wow.
It really seemed as though Vince and Co. were trying to make Flexy Lexy into the next Hogan, which, as so many promoters will tell you, there can and forever will be only one Hulk Hogan.
I have to disagree, Duke. There's always more than one jackass in wrestling. Or, did you mean as far as money-making goes?
Just the whole aura of Hogan, both good and bad. Wrestling needed a guy like Hogan, and Hogan was there, right place, right time. And ever since then, every two-bit promoter has been trying to shove their clones down our throats.
Well, true. Much as I hate Hogan, I'll agree, he was the guy that they needed, and it's been hard to copy that personality. Though I agree, clones are bad. Right, John Cena?
So, this would lead to Lex Luger riding around the US on the "Lex Express", where we'd see Lex eat...sleep....eat...sleep....and fall asleep watching him eat and sleep. But other times, he'd be greeting himself to kids and whoever else watched WWF at the time, to help promote the event.
How this would help him defeat Yoko I'll never know.
Me neither. But the match was still important to Lex, because if he lost, he'd NEVER get another shot at the WWF title. So, Summerslam would come, the match would be fought, and Lex would win. Balloons, confetti, and all that good stuff would fall from the sky as everyone gathered in the ring to celebrate the victory.
But there's a catch...
Ooooh, VERY important catch. See...Lex won the match by countout.
and, in 99% of the title matches held in wrestling, a title cannot change hands via DQ. Or countout.
So long story short, Lex won, but he didn't win the title. Which made the buildup pointless, worthless, and a waste of airtime. Though, I GUESS on the bright side, it led to such matches as Undertaker vs. Yokozuna in a Casket match.
But frankly, that whole situation caused Lex to look like a GIGANTIC dumbass.
Well, of course. You can't have a guy you want to be champion looking like a moron. And this was the point I expressed in the Lashley article, when he thought he won the ECW title back but never actually pinned McMahon. It made him look like an idiot.
Perhaps if Lex cracked open a "WWF Official Rulebook" while riding the Lex Express, he could have avoided such a blunder.
To be honest, I think he did. The problem is, the very first rule was "Disregard the following rules when applicable".
...True
So after this, I guess WWF was kind enough to give him one last chance. As is annual tradition, the winner of the Royal Rumble match would win a shot at the WWF title at Wrestlemania. The final competitors in this match were, surprise surprise, Lex Luger and Bret Hart. Both men on the ring apron, trying to knock the other one off and to the floor, and both men are knocked off, touching at the exact same time. So, to be fair and not waste anymore airtime, BOTH men were declared the winners of the Rumble. A first, and possibly the only time to be sure.
2005 came close. But you're right, so far Lex and Bret are the only Co-Winners.
Yeah, I didn't understand why they didn't just roll with it then, prolly because of the fact there's two World title now. But in any case, the match for the World title at Wrestlemania X would be not a Triple Threat, but a double header. Meaning that Yokozuna would face Lex first, and if he survives that, Bret. Now, as far as breaking kayfabe goes, I THINK the Rumble was the end for Luger, because the fans cheered more for Hart than the All-American. Did that event even take place in Canada?
Nope. Providence, Rhode Island
Man. When your own country doesn't cheer loudest for you, you KNOW you're sunk.
And that's what happened, as Lex would lose to the big man, while Bret, after wrestling another match against brother Owen earlier, would win the belt.
Sadly(or funnily), Lex was DQ'd in his match against Yokozuna. And luckily for Hart, Mr. Hogan didn't show up that night.
Luckily for ALL of us, personally. So again, AGAIN Lex chokes, and this was really it for Lex.
Yep. He went on to form a couple of Mid-Card tag teams, and the only really notable things he did was he feuded quite substancially with Ted Dibiase's Million Dollar Corporation.
And that's it, really. Luger's WWF career lasted almost two years before he went back to WCW, where he'd capture the WCW title a second time, feud with nWo, join nWo, and all that Russo goodness before finally becoming another freaking internet meme joke. Remember that one, Duke?
I don't know if I do ;-)
Dammit, Duke, you know what I was going for there!
What can I say? I'm a dick.
*sigh* Well, that wraps up this edition. G'night folks.
