Top 10 Quirkiest Game Characters.

Honorable mention goes to the Prince and the King of All Cosmos, sadly disqualified from this list for having two mobile phone games and a new sequel in the works for PS3 and Wii.

10.Boogerman

Where you've seen him: Boogerman (duh) on the SNES and Sega Genesis.

Who is he?: Whenever evil shows its runny-nosed face, eccentric millionaire Snotty Ragsdale dons his cape and mask to become Boogerman. Able to sling snotballs across the length of football fields, smite enemies with titanic burps, and propel himself into the air with his own farts, Boogerman is without doubt the grossest video game hero to ever walk these phlegmy plains. As gross as a concept as that was, Boogerman was a solid platformer, and a lot of fun (if you could get past all the toilet humor).

9.Klaymen

Where you've seen him: PC owners saw him in The Neverhood, while Playstation gamers glanced him in Skullmonkeys.

So where is he?: Thankfully, it appears Klaymen's clay hide isn't destined for the kiln just YET. Variety magazine reported last June that Frederator Films had brought on TenNapel to work on a Neverhood film. Its not a new game (though I'd love to see one ohpleaseohpleaseohplease), but hey, I'll take what I can get. And considering that The Neverhood played like an interactive cartoon, maybe this will be a video game movie that actually does justice to its source material. (Advent Children fans, please hold your gunfire until the end of the show.)

8.Guybrush Threepwood.

Where you've seen him: from the Monkey Island series of adventure games.

Who is he?: The most feared pirate in the Tri-Island Area.....if you're asking someone who's hit the grog a little too hard, that is. Guybrush Threepwood is, in fact, a rank coward and a bumbling loon, who aspired to become the most successful pirate in the Caribbean, all while trying to win the heart of Melee Island's governor, Elaine Marley, and dodging the schemes of ghost/zombie/demon pirate LeChuck. Threepwood was about as far from a fearsome pirate as I am from being a brain sugeon, despite his skills in Insult Swordfighting (“You fight like a dairy farmer!” “How appropriate, you fight like a cow!”) and being able to hold his breath for ten minutes. And really, what fearsome pirate is afraid of porcelain? Monkey Island was Treasure Island if it was written by Monty Python, with snappy dialog, clever visual humor. Though Guybrush gets top billing in this entry, the Monkey Island series was full of characters who left us in stitches, from the hard punching Elaine Marley, to Murray the Demonic Talking Skull, who aspires to taking over the world.....just as soon as you give him back his arm.

So where is he?: Unfortunately, since the adventure genre is about as dead as my Great Aunt Sally (which is to say, very), there doesn't seem to be any future for the Monkey Island series, especially since Lucasarts seems obsessed with sucking off the Star Wars teat for the foreseeable future. They did say that they'd like to return to Monkey Island in the next few years, but we know how Lucasarts likes to treat its non-force related properties. It seems Guybrush Threepwood has hauled his last keel....whatever the hell that means. 

Not Pictured: A smash hit adventure game from Lucasarts.

7.Conker

Where you've seen him?: Though his first game was the family friendly Conker's Pocket Tales for the Game Boy Color, you probably remember him as the crass, drunk protagonist of Conker's Bad Fur Day on the N64.

Who is he?: A drunk, misogynistic red squirrel, who wants nothing more than to go the hell home and get to bed after a particularly heavy drinking binge. Unfortunately, his homecoming is put on hold, as he navigates a world filled with militaristic teddy bears, singing piles of poo, angry grim reapers, and a mad scientist who wants to use him as a table leg I shit you NOT! Conker was the everyman, and probably one of the most realistic game heroes conceived. He doesn't want to save the world, he just wants a beer and a nap, which makes the ending of the game even more bittersweet, since in the end, even though he beats the bad guy, he doesn't really win. I could go on about how funny Conker is, but Conker cannot be explained, he must be experienced. If you own an N64, and you've never played Conker's Bad Fur Day, you need to go into exile. Seriously. You should be ashamed of yourself.

So where is he?: Despite a lukewarm remake of Bad Fur Day on the Xbox, Conker hasn't had a proper outing since the N64 days. There was talk of a sequel to Bad Fur Day, but according to Chris Seavor, who voiced Conker in BFD, any sequel made would have Conker killed off in the opening minutes......um....ok?

6.Manny Calavera

Where you've seen him: Grim Fandango.

Who is he?: Imagine the Grim Reaper working a 9 to 5 as a travel agent, and you come up with Manny Calavera, a down on his luck schmo, who's stuck spending eternity selling travel packages to the afterlife to deadbeat (there's a joke in there, somewhere) clients who can't afford more than a walking stick with a compass. When he discovers that deserving clients are getting screwed, while evil souls get the express train to heaven, Manny decides to dig up the dusty truth. Again, Manny represented the everyman. He's not a world saving badass, or a legendary hero of prophesy, he's just a guy trying to do his job, and get out of a dead end career. The voice acting of Grim Fandango did an excellent job of conveying Manny's frustration, and hidden optimism toward his work. And let's be honest, if you don't find it funny to see a skeleton impersonating Humphrey Bogart, you have no soul.

So where is he?: He's the star of a non-star wars Lucasarts game. I don't think I need to say anymore on that. Seriously, George, stop with the Battle of Hoth. You made a snow battle, good for you. Now quit it.

5.Sir Daniel Fortesque

Where you've seen him: The PS1 hack and slash games, MediEvil, and its sequel.

Who is he?: Sir Daniel Fortesque is the legendary hero of Gallowmere, a brave and valiant knight, whose courage and honor knew no bounds before he was slain heroically in battle. Ok, that's an outright lie. Sir Dan was actually a total chicken who was killed when the first arrow fired in battle got him in the eye. A thousand years later, when the evil wizard Zarok cast a spell to raise the dead, Sir Dan was woken from his eternal rest, and given a chance to do in death what history books claimed he did in life. He's missing his jaw, so his speech is slurred and mumbled, and he's stuck with using his arm as a club until he finds a decent sword, and in the PSP remake, he's got a genie living inside his head, but Sir Dan made enough of an impression to get a sequel, where he is awoken in a museum in Victorian London. Sir Dan added a surreal twist to the knight in shining armor cliché, and his games were well designed enough to have a following in the PS1 days, but he seems to have vanished as of late.

So where is he?: Aside from the PSP remake, MediEvil Resurrection, and the original PS1 game being made available for the PS3 in the Playstation store, no plans or announcements have been made in regards to a new MediEvil game. It seems that Sir Daniel Fortesque has done all the work he can, and is resting in peace.

4.The Battletoads

Where you've seen them: The Battletoads series, and a long running 4chan joke against Gamestop.

Who are they?: Zits, Rash, and Pimple. Three game testers turned muscular amphibians locked in battle with The Dark Queen. Battletoads was one of the giants of the late 80's and early 90's. Yeah, we knew it was an attempt to cash in on the Ninja Turtles, but you know what? We didn't care. Battletoads took a quirky premise and mixed it with awesome game mechanics and punishing difficulty. You'll not find many who can claim to have beaten Battletoads, but you'll also be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't swear on a Bible about how much FUN this game is. With a sequel on the SNES and Genesis, and a crossover with Double Dragon, There's a lot to love when it comes to the 'Toads.

So where are they?: Damned if I know. Neither hide nor wart has been seen of the Battletoads in over a decade. But with a simple formula like that, how hard could it be to make a new Battletoads game for Xbox live?

3.Razputin “Raz”

Where you've seen him: Psychonauts, which is quite possibly the most under appreciated game of the last console generation.

Who is he?: A young boy with psychic powers who escapes his home in the circus (there's a refreshing change of pace for ya!) to join a summer camp where psychic secret agents are trained. Raz is ambitious, eager, and quite intelligent, and yet, you never lose sight of the fact that he's still a little kid. His enthusiasm for being a Psychonaut and his wonderment at being a hero reminds us of when we were kids, and the thrill we felt when the policeman visiting our school gave us a tin badge and called us “deputies”. On top of that, the voice work of Richard Horvitz (best known as the voices of Invader Zim and Dagget from The Angry Beavers) give Raz one of the funniest dialog scripts I've seen ever seen in a videogame. Psychonauts is definitely Tim Schafer's finest work to date, (he's also the guy responsible for Grim Fandango) and it's Raz who makes the game what it is.

2.Tie: Dirk the Daring and Space Ace

Where you've seen them: The Dragon's Lair and Space Ace laserdisc games.

Who are they?: Back in the day, legendary animator Don Bluth would produce two laserdisc arcade games, that would go on to suck quarters faster than a vacuum under the couch. Less “video games” and more “interactive movies” Dragon's Lair and Space Ace were still groundbreaking for their day, and were filled with all kinds of slapstick humor, and the beautiful animation Bluth was famous for. Really, the animated sequences in these games could have been edited together into full movies, and they still would have been awesome, and its a testament to Mr. Bluth's work that even today, people are still trying to track down the original laserdisc games. If you don't believe me, just go to youtube and look Dragon's Lair deaths.

So where are they?: Dirk the Daring has had a little better luck. He actually got a sequel to Dragon's Lair, entitled Dragon's Lair II: Time Warp, along with a few ports to various consoles and handhelds, most of which weren't very good. Space Ace, on the other hand, only got a crappy cartoon on the Saturday Supercade, which dared to use shitty Hanna Barbera style animation as a substitute for Don Bluth's amazing work. If there is any justice in this world, Don Bluth will produce at least one more game for either of these properties with his signature style, and the animators of the Space Ace cartoon will all die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

1.Earthworm Jim

Where you've seen him: You know where he's from. Don't be stupid.

Who is he?: My god, in a world of quirky characters, this guy takes the crown. Earthworm Jim had it ALL. An off the wall origin, awesome platforming, a wacky sense of humor, clever character design (a mad scientist with a monkey for a head? GENIUS!!), and falling cows. I mean, Christ, with a formula like that, how could you go wrong?! Jim had two awesome games on the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis, he had a guest spot in Clayfighter 63 1/3, a kick ass Saturday morning cartoon, a line of action figures, and a comic book. It seemed like Earthworm Jim was the king of the oddballs back in the 90's. Truly Doug TenNapel's greatest creation, an annelid super hero who I would SWEAR has ADHD. Which leads to the question....WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

So WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!?!: Since Earthworm Jim 2, Jim's had a lackluster game experience. Earthworm Jim 3 was....well, let's just be more generous than most gamers and just say it was a poor purchase. And then there was Earthworm Jim: Menace 2 the Galaxy on the Game Boy Color. Again, your money was better spent elsewhere. Outside of the release of the Genesis version of Earthworm Jim on the Virtual Console, there haven't been any EWJ games released in several years. Plans were made for an Earthworm Jim PSP game, but these were scrapped. HOWEVER, there is good news for fans of the worm! Back in April 2008, Interplay announced that they were going to be working with Doug TenNapel to bring us Earthworm Jim 4. Now, all we can do is hope that they do a better job than they did with EWJ3, and that we will be merrily launching cows to our hearts content!